


Icha Icha (no paradise)

by Yurioismyspiritanimal



Category: Naruto
Genre: Banter, Crack, Fighting, Fluff and Humor, Lighthearted, M/M, fighting with lips if you know what i mean, grumpy sasuke, ish, kakashi literally does not give a shit, naruto being annoying, set sometimes before the chuunin exams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26090608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yurioismyspiritanimal/pseuds/Yurioismyspiritanimal
Summary: “hey,” Naruto called out, “remember when we kissed?”Sasuke visibly tensed and turned back around slowly, but his face revealed nothing. Then he nodded.“Yeah, you’re right,” He said. “I guess kissing is pretty terrible”
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 5
Kudos: 135





	Icha Icha (no paradise)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because i was sad lol. theres probably mistakes n typos so sorry about that.  
> 100% not cannon, but it could be if you stretch your mind a lil :)

“SASUKEE!” 

“NARUTO!”

Kakashi sighed deeply and resisted the urge to chidori his two students, who were yelling at each other (for no reason) for the third time since the mission started. 

“Can’t you guys just get along” he said, but his words were lost against the animal-like screeching coming mostly from Naruto as the two boys engaged in a fight that looked more like bitch-slapping. Maybe it was the nine-tails influence, he thought. 

He watched as, in the span of a few minutes, the slapping turned into punching, which turned into a bunch of clones getting decked in the face by sasuke, which turned into wrestling on the floor.

Usually, Kakashi would let them fight it out, because there was no stopping those too once they got into an argument about something petty, like the last time when they fought over whose handwriting was worse (Naruto won). However on this particular mission, the situation was more delicate. 

They had been hired to guard a wealthy merchant's China tea set collection while it was being transported across the river. If the wrestling continued and they knocked the tea sets into the water- 

Suddenly there was a loud crash, which sounded exactly like the tea sets crashing into the water. Kakashi prayed to the ninja gods that he was just hearing things, but when he looked up, sure enough, Naruto and Sasuke were looking slightly guilty next to a knocked over box of broken China. 

“He started it!” They said at the exact same time, and it was almost funny enough for Kakashi to consider letting it slide. 

Almost.

When they got back to Konoha and Kakashi was forced to admit that yet again, team 7 had failed another mission because of the fighting between Naruto and Sasuke, he decided the two boys were in need of punishment. And no, not the fun kind. 

Which is how the two ended up here; collecting wet leaves from the forest floor, which were the result of a thunderstorm the night before. 

“You aren’t done until these bags are full of leaves” Kakashi said, patting the massive paper bags which were at least a foot taller than him. He grinned at the two boys. 

Naruto groaned loudly. “Why am I being punished like this, when Sasuke was the one who started the fight” he grumbled. 

Sasuke gave him an evil look that somehow said I only punched you because of how stupid youre face looked. Or something like that.

Kakashi just sighed. “I don’t care who started it, I just want to read my book in peace, so get to work” and he sat down casually underneath a nearby tree and took out his book. 

Naruto continued grumbling, but he decided it was best to just collect the leaves as fast as possible and get it over with. After all, he didn’t fancy his chances of fighting Kakashi, although he didn’t look too scary when he was giggling behind that book of his. 

What's even written in there anyways, must be pretty interesting to be worth kakashi-sensei’s time Naruto thought. 

Suddenly a wet leaf slapped him in the face, sticking to his cheek. 

“Idiot,” sasuke said. “stop talking to yourself and get to work”

naruto glared at him and stuck his tongue out. He didn’t understand why Sasuke was so grumpy all the time. And it was his fault they were stuck here anyways. 

“he should be apologising to me” naruto grumbled to himself. but that was a stupid thought- Sasuke didnt do apologies. 

Anyways collecting leaves wasnt so bad, since Naruto was used to doing hard work on dumb D-Rank missions. he would rather have spent the time eating ramen or training though. 

he really needed to train hard or he would never catch up to Sasuke who had the stupid sharingan. 

Soon the sun was going down, and the bags were only half full. Kakashi walked over to inspect their progress. Naruto was hopeful that he might let them go, but no such luck. Kakashi summoned one of his ninken and told him to keep an eye on them. then he smiled at his angry looking students. 

“Well have fun!” he said, and leapt into the air.

the dog didn't even say anything, just trotted off and lied down next to a tree. 

“Dammit, i don’t want to stay out here all night!” naruto complained.

“Idiot. it's your fault we’re even here” Sasuke said. 

“what do you mean its my fault?!” naruto yelled. “You're the one who started the fight in front of Kakashi on our mission.” 

Sasuke scoffed. “I meant we would be done here if you weren't so slow at collecting leaves. i already filled up my bag.” 

Naruto quickly ran over to the bags and saw that it was indeed true- Sasuke’s was full while his own was only half filled. 

“Dammit,” he said. it was so unfair that Sasuke was so fast at everything. 

“Dead-last” Sasuke mocked. 

“Shuddup” Naruto said, and angrily began sweeping more leaves. His area was running out of leaves, so he walked over to the tree.

It was then that Naruto spied the book lying on the ground. it must have fallen out of their teachers pocket. 

“hah! it's kakashi-sensei’s book!” 

sasuke didn't seem to notice, he was too focused on carrying a pile of leaves over to the bags. naruto scoffed. he didn't even know why sasuke was still here, he could probably slip past the ninken and just go home. He probably just wanted to stay here and insult me, Naruto thought. 

All things aside, there was no way he could pass up the opportunity to see what was written in his sensei’s ~forbidden~ book. 

he approached it cautiously, checking for traps because Kakashi-sensei would definitely do that- he shuddered remembering how he fell for that trap back during the bell training. 

“oi! Sasuke!” Naruto yelled, picking up the book with one hand and squinting at it. no traps so far. 

Sasuke slouched his way over, hands in his pockets. “what, Naruto?”

Naruto pointed at the book gleefully. 

“its just a book” Sasuke said 

“Just a book?!” Naruto jumped up from his crouch. “this is the key to the forbidden world of the adults!” 

Sasuke didn’t seem impressed. “what are you gonna do with it.” 

Naruto shuffled closer to the other boy. “i think we should totally read it, eh?” 

“i don’t really care.” Sasuke deadpanned. or maybe it was just his normal voice. 

Naruto ignored him, flipped open the book to a random page and started to read with a grin. he would finally know the secrets of the adult ninja world! 

“...she grabbed his face with both hands, and smashed their lips together with such passion that it ignited a fire in her...” 

“HER WHAT?!” naruto screeched and dropped the book. 

“what, too scary for you” sasuke joked, and picked up the book from the floor. 

Naruto rubbed his eyes in vain to try and get rid of the memory he had just read. He watched in fascination as Sasukes inspected the page. 

he laughed when sasuke's jaw actually dropped open for a few seconds before clamping shut again.  
“what the hell is this?!” he muttered, a slight blush appearing on his face. 

“i dont knowwwww” naruto howled in pain and rolled around on the floor. “why would kakashi-sensei read something so disgusting like that?”

“hm” Sasuke replied, talkative as usual. 

Naruto looked up and saw that sasuke was still holding the book. his eyes seemed to be moving over the pages. was he actually reading it??? 

“SASUKE!” Naruto screeched. “are you a secret pervert or something! why are you reading that!” 

Sasuke's face was back to his usual smirk. “relax Naruto, its not even that bad.” 

huh. Naruto saw Sasuke's words as a challenge. if sasuke could handle it, then surely he could too, it wasn’t like Sasuke was more mature than him or anything. Naruto grabbed the book from Sasuke's hands and attempted to read once again. 

...their tongues moved together so slowly, like a romantic dance which spilled over with emotion...

“yuck! why would anyone want to read that trash” he groaned, his ears burning red. 

Sasuke shrugged. “Adults like that kind of stuff, idiot.”

Naruto scrunched his face in disagreement. “i'm pretty sure kissing isn't even that good, its all fake anyways.” he said. 

“oh yeah? how would you know about kissing” Sasuke smirked. 

naruto spluttered for a reply “hey! its not like you’ve kissed anyone either!” 

Sasuke didn’t have an answer to that. “hn” he said, and he crossed his arms and walked back over to his leaf pile. 

Naruto stuck his tongue out and pulled a face at Sasuke's back. He had totally just won that argument. But for some reason he didn’t want to go back to boring silence again, he wanted to get a reaction out of sasuke.

He thought about what sasuke said about him not knowing anything about kissing. it was true, he had to admit he'd never kissed a girl, but he had kissed someone right? What him and Sasuke did hardly counted as a kiss though. Suddenly he wanted to know what Sasuke thought about it. 

“hey” he called out. “remember when we kissed?”

Sasuke visibly tensed and turned back around slowly, but his face revealed nothing. Then he nodded slowly. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” He said. “I guess kissing is pretty terrible”

Naruto felt his face heat up at the insult. “hey! i was just surprised that's all. I could do way better. believe it!”

“oh yeah? whatever u say, naruto” sasuke said smugly. 

Naurto glared at him. “i'll prove it to you!!” 

Sasuke held his gaze easily. “whatever you say dead-last”

Naruto felt his face go red. He didn’t want to back down from whatever strange fight this was, but at the same time it would be totally wrong to actually go through with it. 

There was no way he could actually kiss sasuke on purpose right? that would be too far even if it was just to prove a point. Except.. Naruto kind of wanted to, just to see what it was like. 

was he really about to do this? he grabbed sasuke's arms and leaned in fast. connecting their lips with a harsh bump. 

it lasted a split second before Sasuke pushed him away. 

“hey! what are you doing?” he snarled. 

“proving I'm better than you,” naruto said. 

Sasuke leaned in closer with a scary look on his face, like when he was about to breathe fire on someone. 

naruto took a step back. “hey hey hey no need to get mad” he stammered. 

Sasuke leaned in until their foreheads were almost touching. Naruto felt his heart beating so fast, its like he was in a battle or something. what the hell? he held his breath. 

“Well, you still sucked,” sasuke said, and then laughed in naruto's face. 

naruto felt a surge of anger, and a need to prove himself. “hey, you're asking for it!” he said, and tackled Sasuke to the ground. 

They had sparred many times before, so Naruto could tell that Sasuke had let him take him down, and not fought back. Huh that's weird he thought, and stared down at sasuke's face. it was still smirking at him, a challenging look. 

Naruto wanted to run away screaming and go and punch his pillow for some reason, but he held his ground. He would not lose confidence now! He would not admit to being worse at kissing than sasuke. 

he leaned in slowly, almost copying sasuke's earlier movements of intimidation. from this close he could see a light blush on Sasuke's pale cheeks. 

he looked at sasuke and saw his eyes flicker downwards for just a second. 

well if he's not backing out, then neither am i, naruto thought. and he connected their lips before he could chicken out. 

they were pretty soft. softer than last time, and warm. but it still didn't feel like much. After a few seconds of stunned silence at his own actions, Naruto forced his face to move, breaking the kiss, and opened his eyes. 

he started to laugh nervously and scratched the back of his neck, realising what a weird situation this was, but suddenly Sasuke was leaning in, and pushing their lips back together. Naruto made a surprised sound which was muffled by sasuke's lips moving against his. Moving. Their lips were moving together, and it was kinda... nice? his whole face felt really warm, and he found himself leaning in just a bit. what was he doing? suddenly something warm and wet touched his bottom lip, and he lept back with a yell. 

“ah, what was that?” naruto said

sasuke was covering his mouth with a shocked expression. 

“I don't know, okay! you leaned in, and then i- i-“ it was rare to see sasuke looking so confused about something.

“i only leaned in because you leaned in!!” naruto defended himself. 

“well you started it!!” Sasuke said back. 

“you totally wanted me to though.” 

Sasuke looked away. “So what if i did.” he sounded nervous “usuratonkachi” he added. 

Naruto felt himself smiling despite the insult. Sasuke really did want to kiss him! The thought made him feel weirdly happy, though that was probably just cause it meant he had won that argument. He opened his mouth to reply but Sasuke turned away quickly.

“Let's forget this even happened. Don’t you dare tell anyone about this” he said, but he didn’t sound as threatening as usual. 

“Okay.” Naruto said dumbly, and realised he felt a little disappointed, but didn’t know why. 

they looked at eachother. naruto was still breathing a little heavily from the kiss. 

sasuke’s eyes narrowed. 

and then his hand was on the back of narutos neck, and their lips crashed together. Naruto didn't really know what was going on but everything felt really warm and nice so he just went with it. 

he wouldnt admit it to sasuke, but Naruto was pretty sure he was a bad kisser, just cause he was usually bad at things unless he practiced a lot. 

then he thought about practicing kissing with Sasuke, and it made him feel really happy for some reason. 

if there was something naruto knew, it was that lots of confidence could made up for lack of practice. so he reached his hand up to Sasuke’s face and started to move his lips. He was shocked when Sasuke didnt even push him away, and instead hummed and managed to lean in even closer. 

This is so weird, naruto thought. it was like the whole world was spinning around him, like the only thing that existed was Sasuke’s really warm mouth where it was connected to his. 

Naruto felt a bit braver, and used his teeth to bite Sasuke’s bottom lip, because that was what the guy in the pervert book did, right? 

Sasuke opened his mouth and gasped, and then suddenly he was leaning back and cold air rushed in between them. 

Naruto opened an eye nervously to see if Sasuke was suddenly angry and about to punch him. But he was just sitting there, looking a little lost. 

Naruto opened his other eye and immediately zoned in on Sasuke's lips, which looked red and a little swollen. And his face even had a pink blush across his cheeks! Naruto grinned internally. He had done that, he had gotten a reaction out of Sasuke, and a good one! 

“Naruto” 

“Uhhh, yeah?”

Sasuke didn’t say anything else, instead he stared at a blade of grass and huffed. Naruto wondered if he was feeling embarrassed, since Sasuke usually acted like kissing and girls and crushes were way above him. 

“Its not a big deal.” Naruto said, even though it kinda was to him, because she didn’t want Sasuke to panic and run away the way he usually did when people wanted to talk about feelings. 

Naruto had never even seen him talk to a girl without ignoring them completely, rejecting them, or running away. 

Sasuke looked up. “Ok” was all he said. 

They both stood up slowly. Naruto couldn't help to stare at Sasuke's lips, now that he knew what they felt like. 

“we’re not gonna kiss again” sasuke said 

“oh, ok.” Naruto tried really hard not to pout 

“stop pouting.” 

“sorry!” 

Sasuke looked softer than he ever had before, Naruto couldnt help but want to hug him in that moment. It was only natural, like when he saw a really warm fresh bowl of ramen and wanted to hug it. 

wait, did he like Sasuke as much as he liked ramen? Naruto couldnt believe what he was thinking. ramen had been number 1 on his list of things he loves for- forever. there was no way he could like Sasuke that much right? Except, Naruto wanted to hug Sasuke more than a bowl of ramen, but maybe that was just cause it was kinda weird to hug a bowl of rame- 

Naruto was snapped out of his thoughts by a finger poking him in the forehead. 

“usuratonkachi.” Sasuke said, and his mouth did something funny that almost looked like a smile. 

Naruto’s jaw dropped. 

Then Sasuke turned away and walked over to Kakashi’s ninken, who thankfully had slept through the whole thing. 

Naruto had forgotten he was even there. He jogged to catch up with Sasuke. 

“We’ll be going now.” Sasuke was saying to the ninken, who just grunted and also looked a little smug. 

“huh? hes just gonna let us go? but theres still leaves here!” 

Sasuke shrugged. “i guess he thinks we don't need more punishment” 

Naruto grinned. He could help but be happy that Sasuke was being so relaxed now with him, like they were actually friends! or maybe not friends, something different, cause Naruto didn't like the idea of kissing any of his other friends. 

“If giving you a kiss was the way to get you to be nice, i would've done it a long time ago!” Naruto joked. 

Sasuke threw a half-hearted punch in his direction. “watch it, stupid.” 

Naruto laughed. 

And they both walked back towards the village, side by side. 

“So will you buy me chocolates on valentines day?” 

“Shut up Naruto.”

**Author's Note:**

> now i want chocolate
> 
> thanks for reading <3


End file.
